lady_saltina (lady_saltina) wrote,

Things on my mind...

1. I have no idea what all this dramu is about the tea party... I hope its resolved now, but people seem to be still talking about it, and I feel very out of the loop. It bothers me that its happening at all, to my friends, and the Chicago community in general, which used to be awesome and drama-free. And it bothers me that I don't know what's going on. It makes me feel very sad, and kind of responsible, even though the latter is probably irrational.

2. I cannot concentrate at all on this paper I'm supposed to be writing. Paper(s) actually, though I can't find my prompt for one, so I'm just concentrating on the first one. I feel like this for all my classwork right now actually. I'm having a hard time keeping everything organized and finding the motivation to go beyond "just getting it done". This is also the reason I haven't done *any* work on my independent study, besides think a lot about it. That and money... which I guess I will talk about next.

3. I'm so. Damn. Broke. My friend from the Netherlands is here, and he wants to go out and do things, and drink and go to eat, and I have a bit of money to spend now, but honestly, I don't even know if I'm going to be able to make rent at the end of the month. I have to keep asking my parents for money, which really is an awful feeling. I've been very good about not buying things that are superfluous, and I still don't have any money. Something weird is happening with payroll at school, so I haven't been payed for *any* of my hours this semester. I called Qedda or whatever that lady's name is... but she never got back to me. I guess I need to call her back, because I really need to get paid for working. Even if I'm only working a few hours a week. I feel like I should get another job, but I really don't have time. I've been doing a lot more social things lately, which I guess I could sacrifice to work more, but I feel like those things are important too. Maybe even more so right now.

4. I'm stressed out about the whole Japan situation. Yes, because of everything that affects them, but also because it's caused my study trip to get cancelled. I needed those credits to satisfy graduation requirements and set me on track for next year, so I can graduate in the spring when I'm supposed to. I'm trying to work out an alternative plan to earn those credits anyway, but it's going to be difficult, and the classes I need aren't being offered on campus this summer. I'm worried because of this I'm not going to graduate on time... which I really really don't want. I feel very done with school right now. I suppose this is normal... I began to feel this way hardcore about the same time my Junior year of highschool... I just want to move on with life. At the same time, though, I *don't* want to graduate, because that means real life. Finding a real job, potentially moving to another city, the reality of student loans, thinking about graduate school, probably being even poorer than I am now. It hit me last week I don't have documentation of *any* of my work... most of it anyway. I don't have a website, or a complete / professional resume. I should be good at this stuff, or at least on top of it, since that is my job. I've contacted people to help me take photos and things, but no one has gotten back to me. Which leads me back to the summer conundrum. I want to work at the museum again, but I have gotten no response to any of the emails I've sent. I know they want to have me back, or thats what they said to me before, but its frustrating since I haven't heard anything. I'm thinking about taking a class at OxBow... which would be really fun, and knock off a straggling studio credit. I need to decide what I want to write my thesis about next year. I need to do so much.... Gah, crunch time.

4. I need to find a new place to live. With roomates. In a month, or less. I want to live in Logan Square, though anywhere close to the train would be alright.

5. On the bright side of life right now, I have the best boyfriend, ever. Just saying. I was going to write more about that, but I just stressed myself out more instead. Its weird... recently, whenever I'm by myself I start feeling really really anxious. I don't like it.
Tags: lady, life, ranting
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