I'm not feeling quite as well today unfortunately. My mom called me today with my friend's obituary in the paper, and reading it brought the sadness back. Even though we weren't that close, especially in recent years, his suicide brought on a lot of complicated emotions and its been really hard to deal with. That on top of school stress, work stuff, and this unending drama with kaj, I have not been a very happy camper.
I really miss wearing gothic. I wore a more gothy coordinate than usual yesterday to the meet and I really liked the way I looked. I think I may sell some of my sweeter wardrobe and purchase a few more nice black things. I need a velvet dress, and I would like some sort of gothy print. I've been having dress fantasies about the JetJ Crucifixion dress in wine... controversial but so lovely! Classic/gothic is so much more expensive than sweet and something in me feels a little guilty buying plain black dresses because I feel like I could make them, even though I never have the time to, and I enjoy wearing things I didn't make much more. I don't really have the funds right now to be buying superfluous dresses, so I suppose it will be a distant fantasy, but maybe someday.